Morally Bankrupt Game Studios launches; Immediately seeks Saudi takeover

Morally Bankrupt Game Studios, a newly established independent game development company, announced its official launch today at a hastily-arranged and sparsely attended press conference.

In a bold move that redefines corporate ambition, CEO Ron Eckhart explained that the fledgling studio was immediately seeking acquisition.

“We’re incredibly excited to announce that we’ve been a company for nearly six hours now,” Eckhart said at the event, “And we’d like to make it absolutely clear to any Saudi Arabian consortiums watching: we are very, very available.”

The studio, which has yet to secure office space, hire any developers, or even imply it has any plans to develop any games, has preemptively valued itself at $4.2 billion, “because that feels like the kind of number that gets attention.”

“Look, I’ve seen how this industry works,” explained Eckhart, refreshing his email for the sixth time in as many minutes at the event hosted in Ron’s parent’s spacious triple-garage. “Big studios get massive buyouts, and we’re definitely a studio—it says so right in our name. We’re just cutting out the tedious middle part where you make games and build value.”

When asked about the studio’s development roadmap, Eckhart gestured vaguely toward a whiteboard blank except for the words “Game Ideas” scrawled hurriedly in the top corner. “I guess we’re theoretically willing to flesh that out, if it comes to that. But what we really have is a complete willingness to rebrand as whatever our future owners prefer.”

Regarding contingency plans if no buyers emerge, Mr Eckhart seemed initially dismissive, but when pressed conceded: “I suppose we’d be forced to make a game? But if I’m honest, we’re really hoping it doesn’t come to that.”